Don’t be the stinky kid

We all remember in high school there was that one guy that hadn’t quite figured out the deodorant thing or maybe it was bathing.  It’s possible they didn’t care or had low self-esteem. Perhaps they were just oblivious that they were that way. They may have even been proud of it. You surely remember innocently walking down the hallway, when all of a sudden your sense of smell was attacked by that person’s foul, disgusting stink.

I’m certain and hope that over the years that smelly young adult eventually understood his offensive odor was almost a repellent, keeping others at a distance.  He then made a decision to change his ways. Learning the art and science of self-discipline and personal care and has grown into a successful productive member of society.

I tell that story to set the stage to help others understand how without really being conscious of our own issues we can be extremely offensive (stinky) with our attitude to those around us.

I’m writing this article to express how as an adult I became the stinky kid, not by a lack of hygiene but through the expression of my attitude. Those of you who know me will certainly relate.

I remember graduating high school not knowing what I really wanted “to do” with and for the rest of my life.  The same old song and dance the counselors, teachers, and parents bombard America’s youth with still to this day.

Before I knew what really happened I landed a job and over a number of years became successful in the field that I stumbled into.  What I didn’t realize was that I was slowly becoming the stinky kid. I remember feeling and thinking that there was something missing. I slowly started to resent the people around me as if they had some factor in how I got to where I was. That resentment began to build into a distaste for pretty much everyone and everything.  I felt justified becoming biter by blaming my situation on my employer, wife, or “the man”. Now that I had solidified and justified my bitterness, I put that chip on my shoulder and it began to grow.

I really started to like the quick witted sarcastic ways that I tore others down. At this point I still was unaware of why I was doing what I was doing. It was much easier to take the pressure off myself by projecting my pain and disappointment onto others than it was to admit that it was my attitude, so it was my problem. I went on for a number of years like this. Hurting countless people with the wake of my abusive stinky attitude.

I am very thankful to tell you that, over the last couple of years, I have become self-aware about this issue.  I am actively improving everyday and still repairing the destruction that was completely my creation.

My liberation would never have been possible if it wasn’t for the grace and information I acquired through my association with the organization known as LIFE.  Through reading, listening and associating my personal and professional lives, I am proud to say, are improving all the time! I now actively help others self-identity and assist them with the liberating information provided by the LIFE company.

I hope this article has shed light on how applying some information can and does truly have immeasurable and lasting effects. I also challenge you to take a step back and ask yourself how can I change? What can I do to become better? Have I become a stinky adult? In life there are only two options, we can choose to get better or get biter. The choice is yours.

God bless,
John R Oliva

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Being the victim or becoming victorious

Frustration caused by the lack of a desired result, creates an option: suffer from the ease of self-delusion and maintain the ego or suffer the pain it takes to change the ego.

Everyday we are overwhelmed by the chaotic world around us. The busyness of the masses rushing to work to sell their time and build their bosses dreams. We all have many responsibilities to maintain our environments; personal fitness, relationships, children, vehicles, homes, etc. All of these chores maintain the existence of our physical environments. The parallel of this is the intangible interior of ourselves. The ego or the mind is the environment where all realities are determined and maintained. These determinations made in the mind have the most profound affect on the physical environment.

Most of us proceed through our lives giving little or no thought about how we have achieved our view of reality.  As children we had many amazing ideas upon which we had hoped we could turn the future into. We enter into adulthood, some going onto college others going straight into the work force. Time becomes overwhelmed with the responsibility to maintain our physical environment.  Many of us being overwhelmed with our view of reality seek fun or entertainment as an outlet, sports, consumerism, sex, drugs, alcohol, gaming, music, media, internet or TV.  This is the culture of escapism. These tools are used to assist the mind in evading the reality escapists believe they cannot change or are unwilling to change. We often look outside of ourselves for the solution, however we fail to realize that divinity resides within us. Whether we realize it or not, our minds are always in the creation process. While we are busy being entertained, our minds are busy working to create realities upon which our minds believe to be truth. The mind ends up convincing itself what “reality” is by means of the maintenance it is given. “you get what you give”

As we are busy living out our lives many of us become frustrated with things in our environments. Whether we become frustrated with people, jobs, goals, or the realization that the dreams we had as children were unlikely to manifest in our reality.  Our minds attempt to create an outlet for this frustration, which often comes in the form of Being the victim, blaming someone else, or making an excuse to ensure there is no damage to our ego. This can create a self-delusion where we believe our own lies to avoid being at fault.

Instead we can make the decision to confront our self-delusion and correct the situation at hand. This decision sounds easy, unfortunately it is much more difficult than it seems.  The mind does not like to admit fault (at least mine doesn’t). In order to obtain a desired result, not settling for mediocre, one must confront the lie or self-delusion the mind has accepted as reality. During the confrontation process we have two choices: suffer the pain of staying the same or suffer the pain of changing. Both have their own set of challenges.

Self-delusion is the water pill the mind takes to ignore the lack of results or accept being the victim.  Thus the mind has been sold the idea that it cant win, coming up with excuses and ideas to reinforce its self-deluded belief. This often comes out of the mind as a bitterness, or an attitude of resentment toward the world. We all know someone who is a jerk or has an attitude problem, as the frustration must have an outlet. The mind has accepted or believes that it has lost or cannot win.

Self-awareness is the understanding and confrontation that occurs when the ego makes the decision to confront the self-delusion and decides to Become victorious  against the status quo. This is not an easy road to travel, it requires diligent planning, hard work (kung-fu), checking to ensure the plan is being properly implemented, and making adjustments along the way to ensure the desired result will be achieved.

Either one hates changing enough to lose , or they hate losing enough to change.

In closing we are left with a question:

Am I willing to struggle and be uncomfortable long enough to change and acheive my victory?

or

Am I willing to create a self-delusion large enough to encompass all of my short-comings, blaming my situation, making excuses to protect my precious ego and settle for being the victim of my situation?

The choice is yours; live with the regret that you could not change yourself or do the kung-fu and become the master of your mind.

Persist until your weakness quits

God bless,

John R Oliva